Our first meal in Rishikesh was at a hippy bakery/ restaurant. Rishikesh is rammed with various traveller establishments offering croissants, chocolate rolls, banana pancakes etc. My stomach was still cramping but I ignored it and ordered some dhal and bread hoping that as this food was fairly plain it would not have too much impact. The owner chatted to Tim. ‘No wife, good life,’ he said winking at Tim in an irritating way. As we relaxed and watched the scene unfold outside the cafe – cows, people and rickshaws ambling past, sadhus with their staffs and orange robes – I felt an urgent need to use the toilet. Luckily there was one within the establishment. It wasn’t particularly hygienic and was even less so after I had finished with it.

Suffice to say the next two days were spent in easy reach of a toilet; a diet of toast, boiled eggs and black tea eventually seemed to settle me down.

Annoyingly, given that I was spending a lot of time in our room, it turned out that our guest house was under extensive renovation. Iron struts had appeared in the dusty courtyard, making it even more unusable. It was clear that the upstairs rooms were not being rented out and that the builders were in residence. Tim investigated and reported back that the guest house was collapsing into the cliff. The recent monsoon rains had made the situation worse.

‘Is it safe?’ I asked Tim.

‘Probably. They seem to know what they’re doing.’

‘We should sort out a reduction,’ I hissed from my sick bed. ‘They didn’t tell us that building work would be going on, they should have been more honest.’

The owner was an attractive looking man with long hippy hair and soulful brown eyes. He had probably broken a few hearts in his time.

‘I can’t go and talk to him, I might shit myself.’ I said. A cowardly excuse I know.

‘What do I tell him?’ asked Tim.

‘Say your wife is ill and really grumpy. He’ll understand and take pity on you,’ I said. ‘He’s probably in league with the no wife happy life twat.’

Tim reluctantly agreed and managed to negotiate a reduction to our bill.

I felt that this was fully justified when random pieces of masonry started raining down on the patio the next morning. They had started to insert the iron support struts.

‘Interesting,’ said Tim going upstairs to chat to the builders about what they were doing.

After a couple of days rest I felt able to go out and see some of the local sights, although annoyingly I had now caught a cold that Tim had had. We wandered around the Beatles Ashram. Although the entrance fee for foreigners was very inflated I thought it was worth it. The jungle had started to take over and there was graffiti art everywhere. There were also great views of the Ganges. The place is now owned by the Tiger Reserve nearby and I hope that they do a good job preserving what is left of it.

We also went to the Swarg Ashram and attended the Aarti ceremony there, where people light offerings to the river. There is a giant Vishnu figure towering over the Ashram. He is blue with a snake draped around his shoulders. He is sitting on a lion. I read that this is one of the aspects of Vishnu indicating his animal cunning.

One of the main leaders at the ashram seemed to be an American woman who spoke at the end of the Aarti in English as well as Hindi; there were lots of alternative seekers, both Indian and western that appeared to be attracted to Rishikesh. Many groups of people had just come to ‘The Centre for Yoga in India’ as Rishikesh is known, to do yoga teacher training courses at the various ashrams. Shops offering palmistry, tongue diagnosis, Ayurvedic remedies, local honey and beauty products abounded. If people aren’t into spirituality white water rafting down the river and trekking are available. Tim and I mainly took the chance to relax and take in the atmosphere in the many cafes around the place. Our favourite was ‘Little Buddha’ run by Tibetans and with a fantastic view overlooking the Ganges. Luckily the builders appeared to knock off around 5pm every day and our room was surprisingly quiet in the evening.

The time had come for us to leave. We decided to go easy on ourselves and rent a taxi back to Haridwar rather than bus it. Our sleeper train to Lucknow was due around 8pm so we had booked a cheap hotel in Haridwar as a base for the day while we briefly explored that town. This turned out to be a bit of a mistake….